


Wrath of the Volcano Goddess

by BeccaStareyes



Category: Slayers (anime)
Genre: F/M, Island - Freeform, Vacation, cargo cult
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-26
Updated: 2010-02-16
Packaged: 2017-10-06 17:42:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccaStareyes/pseuds/BeccaStareyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amelia is seeking out her mother's side of the family, but she comes across the corrupt reign of a volcano spirit, and must bring Justice back to the island.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Earthstar Chan](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Earthstar+Chan).



> This was written for Slayers Request, using the prompt of 'Amelia is forced to wear a Naga style leather bikini outfit and we see Zelgadis's reaction to it'.

"Don't you love the smell of the salt air, Mister Zelgadis?" Amelia asked. Personally, I thought it smelled like dead fish and rotten seaweed, but I knew telling Amelia that probably would get a speech about not being so dour. So, I just nodded and continued watching the small crew of the ship she had chartered do their work on the ropes. They seemed to be competent enough, considering how much Saillune had paid them. I still wasn't sure why Amelia had insisted on a private ship, rather than letting Prince Phil delegate a Saillune Royal Navy vessel to accompany her. Surely they had some ships set aside for royalty taking a holiday.

But, this was supposed to be low-key, I suppose. Amelia was wearing her normal traveling clothing, and hadn't really been doing much princess-ing since we left the capital on our way to Safe Haven Island.

I didn't know much about Safe Haven Island, besides that it was off the coast of the sub-continent, and was named for the fact it was the last safe port before you got into the midst of the Demon Sea and you were lucky if you only drowned. Amelia, on the other hand, had found out about this island from her father, who had mentioned that it was her mother's birthplace. Prince Phil had never been there, and Amelia's mother had never gone back after she met Phil, but as soon as Amelia had heard about it, she wanted to visit. I don't know if she just wanted to see where her mother grew up, or was actively looking for aunts and uncles and cousins. Or maybe she was hoping to find True Love, like her parents. You can never tell with Amelia sometimes.

As for me, body-guarding princesses pays well, at least when Saillune holds the purse strings, and I was between jobs and a bit out of sorts. But I'd rather not go into that. And, for that matter, I hadn't been there either, and I wouldn't mind seeing something new and interesting. Since the crew was about as likely to attempt an assassination as I was to join a synchronized swimming team, I had been using the chance to update my own notes on this part of the coast. Not on the maps I'd borrowed from Saillune, since the Royal Librarian had a stare that could intimidate a dragon, but in my own personal journal.

The island was sufficiently far from shore that it couldn't be sailed to just by pointing the bow at it and going, and the captain had assured me that the currents were treacherous enough that experts such as her and her crew would be needed. I know more than a bit about sailing, and the currents didn't seem that unusual, but I'll concede that most of my knowledge is near the coasts, and we were far from shore.

"Land ho!"

The woman in the crow's nest had apparently spotted Safe Haven. I fished out my own spyglass from my bag. "Can I see too?" Amelia asked once I pocketed the lens caps.

I nodded. "Let me get a sighting first." I scanned the horizon roughly fore of the ship. I spotted a tiny spit of land, wreathed in clouds. It took me a bit to realize it was a mountain, jutting out of the sea. I couldn't yet see the shoreline.

I passed the spyglass off to Amelia, pointing her towards the right direction. "Is that it?" she asked.

"We're just seeing the mountaintop. There should be more coming above the horizon when we get closer."

Amelia nodded, looking back aft where we came from. "I can't see the continent at all. It must have been terrifying for people to come out here for the first time."

I nodded, taking out my sextant and the hanging lodestone needle. I had put a spell on it to make it a bit more accurate, to save the energy of having to cast a direction spell every time I wanted to get a bearing. I didn't have a clock with me to get the longitude, but I could at least use the bearing of the island and the latitude to estimate where we were.

I didn't have to do this, of course. I'm sure the captain was making the exact same measurements, probably using the ship's clock that she had set when we left port to get better accuracy than I could with my tools. But I like knowing where we are, in case something happened. Which has happened to me, more than once, so it's not like I'm being paranoid. It only takes me a couple of minutes, anyway.

By the time I had scratched the notes down in my journal with a stick of graphite, Amelia was ready to give me back my spyglass. "Thank you for coming with me, Mister Zelgadis."

"You're welcome," I replied, not pointing out that this was the second time I had accompanied her because Prince Phil was paying me to. And as I said, it's not like the trip itself didn't interest me.

"I wish Miss Lina and Mister Gourry were here too," she continued. "Not that I don't like traveling with you, Mister Zelgadis, but the four of us always have such a good time."

"Except when mazoku and magic beasts and bandits and talking octopi are trying to kill Lina," I added. "Having her and Gourry elsewhere might mean you and I have a quiet trip."

Amelia's eyes had a glint of mischief as she grinned at me. "You don't like the excitement, Mister Zelgadis?"

"Not when people are trying to kill me, no. And bandits aren't dumb enough to try anything on me normally." Well, when I'm awake.

"Oh. Well, maybe we can have an exciting trip without people trying to kill us," Amelia said. Aft of her her, the ship's captain, Euria something, was walking towards us. "Oh, Miss Captain!" Amelia waved at her. "When do you think we'll be at Safe Haven?"

"Probably sometime tomorrow, depending on the winds, Miss Saillune," she answered. The captain was most certainly aware that Amelia was a member of the Saillune Royal Family. The 'miss' had to be a polite fiction that assumed that, since Amelia didn't identify herself as nobility, she didn't want the treatment guaranteed a foreign noble. Which was fair enough; Amelia doesn't normally pull rank unless she needs it, something I approve of. For that matter, I've never really travelled with Phil, but Lina tells me he's the same way.

"Really?" Amelia asked. "Wow, it takes a long time to get there."

The captain nodded. "Winds tend to blow towards the continent at this latitude, so we have to tack pretty hard. If we were sailing north from the Desert of Destruction, the winds blow off the desert, and we'd get a faster trip, even with fighting the current to get north."

Amelia nodded. "Oh." She looked towards me, whether to make sure Captain Euria was telling the truth, or to see if I knew that. (I did.) "I'm glad we hired you, then, Miss Captain." I was pleased she didn't offer our shamanic magic. A good wind spell would give a boost to the ship's speed, but it would be tricky over a long stretch.

"It's just experience. I've been sailing these seas since I was younger than you." Captain Euria looked out towards the island. "Did you see Fire Mountain?"

"The mountain on Safe Haven?" I asked. From what I'd read about mountains on islands, a lot of them are volcanoes.

"That's right. The locals believe the spirit of the volcano occasionally walks the island," the captain explained, "and must be appeased by gifts."

"Sounds like a good gig for con artists," I commented.

"Mister Zelgadis!" Amelia replied. "You shouldn't go around mocking other people's beliefs."

"I was just saying," I muttered, "some people see 'harmless local legend' as 'get rich quick scheme'."

"Like you?" Amelia gave me a critical look and I decided I needed to head off a Justice Speech in the making.

"Of course not." I had far more direct ways to make money and no one would believe I was the spirit of anything good. Horrible monster needing appeasement, maybe, but that was more likely to turn into 'a kick in the pants by a would-be hero'. Besides, someone might want a nature spirit to hang around and grant good harvests or whatever it is that nature spirits do; I'd rather be on the road, though. "Anyway, we might be able to check out the shrines while we're there, but I doubt the Spirit of Fire Mountain would decide to take human form during our visit. It's just a local legend -- it won't affect us."

"You're probably right, Mister Zelgadis."

Of course, I was wrong. A lot of this story is full of me wondering if I could have handled it better, even though it was mostly a pain in the ass and just plain embarrassing, rather than anything harmful. Maybe it's just my kind of luck.

* * *

The first thing we smelled on the wind the next morning was smoke. I took out the spyglass, and noted that the port we were approaching had a grey haze around it. "Is something burning?" Amelia asked.

"Could be," I said.

"Can the ship go any faster? We need to help those people!"

I wondered if I should point out that the burning smell could just be a bonfire or something, but we were still far enough out that even a bonfire probably wouldn't carry on the wind. "Ask the captain," I told her.

Amelia ran off, propelling herself towards Captain Euria, who was standing at the wheel. One conversation that I couldn't hear later, and she was motioning me over to stand near the aft and throw as much magically-created wind as I could to counter the prevailing breeze.

Well, maybe not as much as I could. Ramming the ship into the harbor like some kind of wooden missile would be counter-productive, so as the docks approached, I put a hand on Amelia's shoulder, in the middle of a Bomb di Wind spell. "We need to give the ship some time to slow down and dock."

"There's no time for that!" Amelia said. "The town is burning!"

Yeah, it looked like that was the case, which goes to show that I really shouldn't try to point out other causes to things when I'm often wrong. The fires were dying down, though, leaving skeletons of buildings clustered around the docks. "It looks like the locals have the fires well in hand," I said. "Letting the ship run aground would damage the town worse." Which she and I both know first hand, from our trip to the Outer World.

Amelia considered this. "Fine. _Rey wing_!" She took off from the place she was standing, flying towards the town.

I looked over to the nearest crewman. "We'll be back for our stuff later. Don't sell it or toss it overboard." I then took off after her.

I suppose it was a nice port town, once, with stone and tile buildings. Now, of course, it was smoking and had brush fires everywhere. There were people running around, but I didn't see the expected sorcerers with water shamanism, or even the classic bucket-brigade, from the docks. It was hard to see with the layers of smoke between us and the ground, but long association with Lina Inverse meant that both Amelia and I were more observant than average when it came through seeing through destruction for important clues.

"Mister Zelgadis! Look at that!"

There was a crowd of people in what looked like it had once been some kind of market square. Here it looked like there had been some attempt to fight the fires before they left only soot-stained stone walls. But what had drawn Amelia's and my attention was a crowd -- or two crowds of people, facing off. The first looked like the standard village mob. Granted there was a maritime theme, in that there were more oars and boathooks than pitchforks and sickles, and the clothing was slightly different, but the format is really pretty similar no matter where you go.

Yes, I'm sure you can imagine how I know that.

The second group was smaller, but more organized. For one, they were all in orange and red robes, which filled me with all kinds of confidence. They also had similar taste in arcane jewelry, with red and yellow amulets. The leader -- or at least the guy in front waving his hands about like he was important -- also had a cloak that had to be made of at least ten flocks of the local birds. I guessed these people were probably the ones that started the fire. Considering that one of them tried to throw a Flare Arrow at us as soon as they spotted us, it was a safe guess.

Amelia alighted on the head of a statue of some kind of horrible deep-sea creature that an artist had inconsiderately left in the center of the square. _She's going to give a speech_, I thought as I landed. Which was an even safer guess than about the sorcerers.

"Halt, vandals!" Amelia said, pointing at the group in red. "Those who destroy what others' work hard to create are the lowest of the low. As the sun above, ocean to my right, and the citizens you wronged to my back, all of those as my witnesses, I will see Justice done and halt your rampage."

She actually said a bit more, but I was busy with matters of my own. I had landed behind the statue, which was just as horrible from the back end. I pulled up my hood and mask, since I find not knowing what you're facing tends to spook people, and drew my sword. I took a step into the field of view as Amelia was finishing up and no doubt about to jump down and punch the leader out.

Feathered Cloak spotted me first. "You got a fancy speech too, mainlander?"

"I prefer to let my sword and spells do the talking." I shifted into a defensive sword stance, only to shift suddenly and cast a Freeze Arrow to block the Flare Arrow Feathered Cloak had cast. I saw that he had turned his attention away from Amelia, which was dumb of him, as she chose that moment to deliver a leap-kick to his head, with a Triumphant Yell of Justice or something.

But the half dozen other acolytes or apprentices or whatever they were were still there. Well, that was easy enough to handle. "Dill Brand!" I didn't put much power in the spell since we were in a town -- enough to bust up the cobbles below the sorcerers, and send them all flying and knock Feathered Cloak prone just as he was starting to get up.

The downside was that Amelia had an unexpected spell-boosted assist to her dodge away after her kick. "Mister Zelgadis!" She had managed not to land on her face, but she was caught off-balance, and dropped to a crouch.

"Sorry," I said. "I thought you were clear."

Feathered Cloak was trying to stand up again, despite what was turning into a black eye and several other bruises from the fall. His robes were torn, and the damaged cloak was starting to make it look like we had been fighting giant mazoku chickens again instead of two-bit fire sorcerers. "You..." he said, shaking with fury.

"Yes, us."

"How dare you disobey the volcano goddess's chosen priests! Her mortal incarnation shall strike you down with fire from the heavens!" The screaming must have been too much for him then, since he chose that moment to pass out in a faint.

"Volcano goddess? Mortal incarnation?" With their leader out cold and the rest of the volcano priests slinking away with tails between their legs, Amelia was no longer taunting them with meeting just retribution. "Was that like the Spirit of Fire Mountain that Captain Euria was telling us about?"

I shrugged. "Sounds like nothing but trouble to me. Let's just get our stuff and head out. It's not our problem."

You know, I don't know why I said that. Even then, I should have figured out that 'not our problem' has about as much effect on Amelia as human property rights do on a black dragon. Maybe if I had been all 'yay, you defeated the bad guy, now let's continue your visit', she would have listened.

Somehow I doubt it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Queen of Safe Haven Island asks Amelia to help, and no one is particularly surprised when she says yes, despite Zel's warning.

Something that probably should have occurred to me when packing for Safe Haven Island: it was hot. Maybe not as hot as some of the deserts I'd travelled through in the Outer World, but that was a dry heat. Here, once the sun got high enough, it felt like it was five minutes from raining for the rest of the day. I had started sweating after about fifteen minutes of walking, and we had stopped three times at farms to refill my canteen.

"Maybe you should have brought some shorts and shorter sleeves." Amelia suggested. She had swapped her normal trousers for a knee-length skirt. Totally impractical if she wanted to do any more Acrobatics for Justice, but probably a lot more comfortable in the heat than my trousers and long-sleeved tunic.

"I don't own any short sleeves," I replied. "They draw attention to me."

"You had shorts on when we went on that nice luxury ship," Amelia said.

"Well, yes. _Not_ looking like I was a tourist on holiday would draw attention to me there. But I didn't keep them, since I wasn't going to wear them again."

"You should have at least packed a swimsuit."

"What for? I'm not swimming. I _can't_ swim, unless you count using a flight spell to hover underwater." Which was to swimming like a pair of felt cat ears was to being a beastman.

"For the beach. You could at least wade in with me."

"We're heading to the capital, not the beach."

Remember what I said about not wanting to draw ourselves into the local trouble with the Volcano Goddess? Well, the townsfolk of Porthaven were really grateful that Amelia and I had saved them -- words like 'heroes' were tossed around and Amelia ate it all up. I had to admit, they were pretty grateful and impressed by us. They explained that the gang of priests had come to town demanding their entire catch of fish for the Volcano Goddess's dinner, or the town would be covered in fire. Since the port's people had to eat, they hid some of the fish. The Volcano Goddess was too lazy to get off her mountain and flood the port with molten rock, so the priests decided to do it for her.

After being outraged at such bad behavior, Amelia offered to bear the message to the island's queen in the capital, since we had been heading that direction anyway. Which was surprisingly mature of her. I thought she'd go running up the mountain herself and challenge the Volcano Goddess to a sorcerer's duel.

"I know," Amelia said. "But it's not like anywhere is really far from the beach, Mister Zelgadis. And you would definitely be more comfortable in other clothing. Maybe we can get something in the capital for you."

"Fine, we can get something in the capital for me," I told her. Mostly because she was right. I didn't think I could take another day in the clothing I had on. I was already carrying my cloak in my backpack.

Amelia had run up the next hill, making me wonder where the hell she got her energy, and pointed. "I can see Safe Haven City!" I struggled up the hill after her.

Calling it a city was a bit of a misnomer. It was definitely a town, and had a few decent-sized buildings near the center, but was nowhere near the size of cities on the subcontinent. Then again, Safe Haven Island wasn't that big, and the capital and Porthaven appeared to be the only sizable towns on my map. We had passed through a couple of villages which were mostly clusters of houses surrounded by farms.

We walked towards the center of town, Amelia darting this way and that playing tourist and me working on keeping a steady pace. It was around mid-afternoon and it looked like no one was out. Given the sun nearly overhead beating down on us, I didn't blame them. The few people I saw out were usually wearing hats to keep the sun off.

I was getting a better sense of the architecture of Safe Haven. There were lots of windows and doors to the buildings, usually only sealed off from the outside by light curtains. The stone that was the major construction material was mostly arranged in columns and low walls, supporting tile roofs. Rather nice, actually, if different than I was used to. I wondered what the place did when a storm blew in off the ocean, though. Surely it couldn't be this clear all the time.

By logic -- well, by walking towards the center of town assuming that's where any important building would be -- we made it to the palace. It had the same open structure that the smaller buildings had, and I'd seen bigger walls on family farms. There was a guard, though. Given that he was sitting in the shade, without his armor armor (or his shirt, for that matter), and his spear was leaned against his chair, I suspected he was just there to make sure none of the local kids broke windows or whatever.

Amelia didn't seem to see a problem with this. She walked straight up to him. "Palace tours are closed for the day, Miss," he told her. Guess we looked a lot like tourists. "Come back tomorrow."

"Oh, Mister Zelgadis and I aren't here for a tour," Amelia said. "Well, not now, at least. We're carrying a message from Porthaven. A very important message."

"Really?" The guard sat up, a skeptical look in his eye. "Why didn't they send someone actually from Porthaven, instead of a couple of tourists?"

"Because 'a couple of tourists' have nothing better to do besides walk across the island in the heat delivering messages," I answered curtly. "Everyone else in town is busy rebuilding." Yes, I knew the guard had a job to do, but at this point I was hot and sweaty and didn't give a damn about his job.

"Rebuilding? What? What's this message, anyway?" he asked. We had his attention.

"Anton, Mayor of Porthaven, wishes to tell Her Majesty, Queen Oihana of Safe Haven Island that the priests of the Spirit of Fire Mountain made unacceptable demands on the town, then set it on fire when he refused to give in to them," Amelia recited.

The guard stood up. "You're shitting me."

"We shit you not," I told him. "The smoke's probably cleared up by now, but you might have been able to see it this morning, if you got up somewhere high. Captain Euria of the _Havenseaker_ was with us, and she saw the town burning." Safe Haven City, ironically, was built against some dangerous cliffs, which gave a spectacular view, but it meant that all sea traffic came through Porthaven. As a result, I doubted Euria would come around to report this herself.

"Here, let me show you two inside," the guard said. "The queen's napping right now, but you can freshen up while I send someone to get her. Maybe take a bath or something." He wrinkled his nose. Thanks, buddy, I'm sure you don't smell so great yourself.

* * *

I discovered why Safe Haven City was built where it was. Fire Mountain's geothermal heat provided plenty of space for hot springs. The guard was gracious enough to let Amelia and me use the guest baths. The weather meant that the bath's water was too warm to sit in for long, and there was the hint of rotten eggs in the air, but it was a nice way to relax muscles sore from walking, and there was cool water available to rinse off in.

I had changed into my spare set of clothing and had left my cloak with my pack. Amelia had already finished. She had changed too, into a sundress, which made me wonder how much clothing she had brought along. She was pacing outside the entrance to the guest baths, which were in their own separate building on the mountainward side of the palace grounds. "I didn't think I took that long," I said.

"You didn't, Mister Zelgadis." Amelia replied. "I just want to see the queen as soon as possible. That attack was a travesty of justice, and we need to correct it."

"Right," I said. "Fine, let's go."

The guard, who must have been listening, stepped forward and led us towards the main building. We were led into an open courtyard where servants were already bringing out cold drinks and little bowls of fruit. If those were for us, and not just so the queen wasn't interrupted from her mid-afternoon snack, I had a feeling this would be one of the non-annoying royals I have met. After all, as far as the queen knew, we were two tourists of no particular import, bringing a message that took five minutes to tell, even if we had come halfway across the island non-stop in the hot part of the day. Amelia gave me a glance and I could guess what she was thinking. Even a princess should probably wait for a queen to sit down.

We weren't kept long. Footsteps heralded the approach of a figure, and the servants stepped back, close enough that they could still be there to refill bowls, far enough that they weren't obviously eavesdropping on affairs of state. The guard drew himself to attention, and Amelia and I looked where he was facing.

Queen Oihana didn't look that much older than I was, which could be inaccurate if she was a sorceress. She wore her deep red-violet hair up, with flowers tucked into it, as well as a simple crown to remind tourists like us who the head of state was. Her dress was dyed in some intricate pattern that I couldn't study for fear of staring, but had the kind of loose cut that was practical in the weather.

Amelia gave a brief curtsey, and I figured I probably should have bowed, but thought as a bodyguard, I could get away with a nod. I've never been much for ceremony, even if Amelia and her father seem to enjoy it. I'm not going to talk about the fuss the first time I was appointed as Amelia's bodyguard by Phil.

"Your Majesty-" Amelia began speaking, but was cut off by a wave of the queen's hand.

"Please, sit down and eat. You must be tired after your long walk."

Amelia looked at me and I shrugged. When in a palace, listen to the monarch -- unless she's crazy, of course. We both took our seats, as the queen did the same. As we ate, Amelia filled the queen in on what we had observed at Porthaven, and what the mayor had told us had happened before we got there. I mostly just added details when needed.

"Those priests of the Spirit forget their place," the queen said after we finished. "I have half a mind to march my guards up to the temple and give the high priestess a piece of my mind."

Amelia nodded her agreement. "But..?" I said, waiting for the second part I knew had to be there. Honestly, if it was that simple, she wouldn't be all 'I am thinking about telling the high priestess off', she'd be on her way already.

"But," the queen continued, "technically speaking, the Monarch of Safe Haven Island is regent to the Spirit of Fire Mountain. So as long as the priests can claim they are acting under the Spirit's blessing, my hands are tied." She looked down, clearly annoyed.

"Why don't you go talk to the Spirit?" Amelia said.

"Because her high priestess won't let anyone near her," the queen answered. "I _have_ tried that, young lady. Honestly, life on this island is much simpler when the Spirit sticks to her mountain."

"If no one but the high priestess has seen the Spirit, how do you know it's not a hoax?" I asked. Both Amelia and the queen looked at me. "What?"

"Mister Zelgadis! This is a sacred thing!" Amelia objected.

"Yes, and that's exactly why unscrupulous people would take advantage of something like this -- because good people don't want to question sacred things."

"While the high priestess is a pain in the," the queen paused, "_a pain_, she is a member of the Safe Haven government. Watch your tongue, foreigner."

"Fine, forget I mentioned it," I said. I certainly wasn't going to risk getting tossed into prison or something for treason when I was just visiting here. At least, not unless I was gaining something other than being right.

Amelia had a thoughtful look on her face. That worried me. "What normally makes the Spirit go back to... whatever she does when she's not walking the island."

"Normally, after a bit, the Hero from the Sea comes, and there's a fight," the queen replied. She gave us both an appraising look. "How would one of you like to be a hero?"

"No, that won't end well at all," I said. "Amelia, can I talk to you? Alone?"

Amelia had been ready to open her mouth and sign away both of our free time without even knowing what she was doing. But I had distracted her enough for her to _not_ answer the queen right away. She nodded as she stood up. "Excuse me."

"Certainly," the queen said.

Amelia and I walked over to the other side of the courtyard. There was a fountain, but someone could probably hear us. "They need a hero, Mister Zelgadis," Amelia said. Her eyes were shining, and I knew she was ready to step up and be that hero.

I sighed. "Yeah, but there's no reason it has to be you. Or me, so don't give me those puppy-dog eyes. Listen, if it was just a random monster, I'd tell you to go for it, but you're getting involved in another kingdom's politics. You saw how the queen reacted to me badmouthing their priestess, even if she's ready to throw a hero at the situation." Which made me think that this had even odds of ending up with both sides chasing the evil foreign devils out of town.

"But, it never mattered before when I was helping with Miss Lina," Amelia replied. Which was true, probably because anyone who gave a damn was too busy caring about Lina being Lina, rather than noticing Amelia as something other than a sorceress with some white magic training. "You know, if I can't get involved, you could."

"Not while Prince Phil told me to bodyguard you, I'm not. People could assume you or your father ordered me to do it. At least let the queen know you're Crown Prince Philonel of Saillune's daughter. If she's all right with things, then fine. Let's be heroes." It was the best I could manage, given the circumstances.

Amelia was quiet for a moment. "You're a natural at this political stuff, Mister Zelgadis. Do you want to be a prince or something?"

I turned away so she couldn't see the fact my face was getting red. Did she really mean...

"I didn't mean it like that, really! Just that you're really good at it!" Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Amelia blushing as well. Well, great. What a pair we made.

No, I didn't mean it like that, either. Stop it.

"Excuse me?" The queen cleared her throat. "If you two are done with your little tryst, I'd like an answer."

Oh, great. Other people noticed. I tried to saunter back to the table nonchalantly. I couldn't help noticing Amelia wasn't meeting my eyes.

"There's something I should mention to you, Your Majesty," Amelia said. "I'm traveling as a private citizen on vacation, but I'm actually Princess Amelia wil tesla Saillune." She produced the Saillune Royal Crest from her bag. "Mister Zelgadis Graywords here is acting as my bodyguard, and he pointed out that getting involved in another country's affairs could be a problem for both of us. I'd love to be the hero you need, but I couldn't hurt my home country."

"How do you feel about disguises?"

"Disguises work."

"Excellent. My people will have you looking like a native by suppertime."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia and Zel trek up the mountain to meet the volcano goddess.

You can already tell where this is going, can't you? You're probably half right. After we finished eating, Amelia and I were separated, presumably so Amelia could get dressed. No one came in with clothing for me, so I decided to wait. I pulled out my journal and started to make notes about the day we had had so far, as well as my own observations of Safe Haven CIty and the palace. I was probably failing as a bodyguard, but if Prince Phil wanted someone who could stay in the room while Amelia was getting dressed, he would have hired a woman.

There was a knock at the doorframe. "Come in," I said, and Queen Oihana parted the curtains and stepped in. "I wouldn't think a queen would have to knock on doors in her own palace."

"This queen knocks on doors when she doesn't want to catch her visitors changing. No offense, Mister Greywords, but I have no desire to see you naked."

I shrugged. "None taken." Listen, it's not like I don't know what my body looks like. Granted, having it brought up annoys me, but what else could she say? "Is Amelia finished?"

"She is, and we worked up a cover story for you two."

I raised an eyebrow -- or I would have, if I had eyebrows. "Traveling adventurers doesn't work?"

She smiled at me. I didn't like that smile at all. "It lacks panache. Besides, this is a local problem, so a local should take care of it. But a local who is larger than life, of course."

"Don't mind him, Queen Oihana. Mister Zelgadis can appreciate a dramatic flair, when he's not being grouchy." Amelia's voice came from the other side of the door.

"I'll take your word for it, Princess Amelia," the queen answered. It sounded like the two of them had bonded over this plan, which sent an unexpected cold chill down my spine. "Why don't you show your bodyguard his outfit and fill him in on what we decided."

"My friend," Amelia said. "Who happens to be my bodyguard." She stepped past the curtain and came into view.

I did a double take. It certainly was _different_ than her normal clothing. Less, for one; I'm pretty sure that it only barely met standards for being clothed, and would be cold on any place other than this island and the Desert of Destruction. The top brought to mind artists' attempts to draw mermaids for people who would be offended at female nudity; it was covered in shells that had to be a pain to sew on. The bottom had a short skirt that was made of some kind of gauzy stuff that was useless at covering the bikini-style bottom underneath. Amelia had also replaced her cape with the same kind of material, though I noticed she kept her belt, collar, boots and bracelets -- all things with the amulets she carried. Topping it off was a decorated domino mask covering her eyes, probably her attempt to make sure everyone knew this was a _secret_ identity.

I didn't mean to stare. But, while I knew Amelia had a pretty face, this was a whole new experience. After a bit, I felt like I should say something so she wouldn't think I was some kind of lech or something. Amelia beat me to it. She did a short pirouette, giving me a very clear view of the back, which was about the same character as the front. "What do you think?"

"It's..." I struggled to think of something that wouldn't merit her taking a page from Lina's book and smacking me. Which would hurt her more than me, but that's not the point at all. "It's a bit revealing, isn't it?"

Amelia frowned. "It's a traditional sorceress's costume from Safe Haven Island. My mother used to keep several in her closet back home. I think Gracia took most of them with her on her training expedition. You don't like it?"

That told me more than I ever really wanted to know about Prince Phil and his wife and older daughter. And made me wonder why Captain Euria wasn't making money hand over fist from men who wanted to ogle Safe Haven's sorceresses. Probably because ogling sorceresses was a trait that tended to not produce repeat customers. "No, I like it fine, it's just-"

"Good!" Amelia beamed, practically bouncing on her heels. I looked away. Dammit, I was starting to blush again, and I couldn't blame it on the heat. This wasn't going to work at all -- it was ruining my image as a cool, aloof, sorcerer-swordsman. "Do you want to see what you're wearing?"

Not particularly. I liked my existing clothing, but at least the native clothing would probably be more comfortable. "Let's get this over with."

"Okay. Queen Oihana came up with your backstory, since there aren't any chimera living on Safe Haven Island." Now Amelia was starting to look embarrassed, which boded ill for me, since she was in full-tilt Champion of Justice mode, and wouldn't see anything wrong with getting me to follow along, costume and all.

"I didn't think there would be," I answered.

Queen Oihana waved her hand, and a very traditional butler entered, holding a small bundle of clothing. A very small bundle. I eyed it suspiciously. "We needed some proof of the Hero of the Sea's power, so we figured the taming of a wild barbarian would be sufficient," the queen said.

Amelia held up her hands. She was making the expression she normally saves for when Lina is about to do something stupid in the name of food or money, when she wanted no part of it, but didn't want to say so. "This wasn't my idea at all, Mister Zelgadis. I'd understand if you want to sit this one out."

It was tempting. It wasn't like I was getting anything out of this, and Amelia really didn't need a bodyguard, even if her father had asked me to do it. On the other hand, professional pride meant that I had to keep the job I was getting paid for. No matter how embarrassing it ended up being. "No, I'm going to keep you out of trouble." I held out my hands, and, wordlessly, the butler placed the bundle of clothing into it. I started picking through it, trying to figure out how the mass of leather straps and buckles would actually go _on_.

"My butler can assist you in dressing until you figure it out, Mister Greywords," the queen said. She was smirking, which made me even more annoyed.

I scowled. "I can dress myself."

"Very well. The princess and I will leave you to it. Call out if you need the butler."

"It's a bit late to be setting off today," I said. "We'll have to climb the mountain, and I don't want to do that in the dark." Maybe they wanted to make sure it fit, whatever it was. Some of the buckles were for belts, but some were clearly too small to fit around my waist. Leg sheaths for daggers, maybe?

The queen nodded. "Of course it is, but I couldn't send off a hero and her sidekick without a celebratory feast. It will be short notice, but do try to be ready by sundown, Mister Greywords." She turned to leave, and Amelia gave a wave as she followed.

In the end, I couldn't figure out how to get the damn thing on. Signaling a very dignified royal butler to show you the correct way to put on a loincloth has to be on my list of the top ten weirdest things that have ever happened to me.

* * *

"Did you put sunblock on, Mister Zelgadis? Your skin probably isn't used to so much direct sun."

"I don't need sunblock, Amelia."

It was the next day, not even two hours after sunrise, and I was already annoyed. The costume the queen of Safe Haven Island had put together for me pretty much consisted of just enough to cover everything important, a pair of sandals, plus enough belts, leg-sheathes, arm-sheathes and other strips of leather with buckles to outfit an entire brigade of swordsmen. Complete overkill, considering I only had my sword and dagger, plus bits of my hair in a pinch. Add in not sleeping thanks to a chorus of musical frogs that nested under my window and a dinner feast last night where the queen upsold Amelia and everyone stared at me with surprise when I could actually correctly use the silverware, and I was about ready to play to character and go into a berserker rage.

Amelia was walking behind me, because I was in a bad enough mood that a distraction, even a pleasant distraction, would impact my judgement even more. Plus, I was nominally supposed to be guarding her on this crazy mission, and most of the danger was ahead of us.

"Are you sure?" Amelia asked. "The sun's pretty hot here, and these straw hats we got are nice and all, but they won't cover everything. And sunburns are pretty painful."

I sighed. Amelia could sense a bad mood, and responded by being more cheerful and helpful than normal. "I haven't had a sunburn since I became a chimera. I don't think my skin burns any more."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"All right. I put some on before we left, but if we need to stop for lunch before we get all the way up, I'll need another coat. Can you help me with my back?" I mumbled something like assent.

The day was getting warm enough to be uncomfortable. We were walking through the forest surrounding the volcano, on a trail that steadily climbed upward. There were birds chirping and the smell of flowers and the leaf litter that covered the trails hung heavy in the air.

"What about insect repellent?" Amelia asked.

"Amelia, my skin turns blades. Mosquitos are better off getting blood from a mazoku." I hope she wasn't expecting to use stealth, because people would hear us from a mile off.

"Oh. Just making sure. There are some big bugs around here." To my surprise, this wasn't the cue for a person-sized bug to come leaping out of the undergrowth. Maybe my luck was turning up.

I felt something whiz past me, and another something hit my arm. "Amelia, down!" I drew my sword without even thinking about it, and tried to figure out where the attack had come from.

"Mister Zelgadis?" I turned to face Amelia. She looked white as a sheet, and was staring at a dart sticking out of her arm. I ran forward, dropping my sword and put my arms around her to steady her. "That's not a bug, is it?" she said. Then she fainted.

"Damn it!" The dart had to be poisoned, or at least tipped with something more than a sharp point. Whatever it was, I hoped it wasn't a contact poison, since obviously someone had tried to hit me as well. I eased Amelia down to the ground. I should try to work the dart out, but I'd have to stop the bleeding then -- by spell, since it wasn't like either of us had enough spare cloth for bandages. After that... I didn't know how to cast Dicleary, so I'd just have to improvise.

For now, though, someone was clearly trying to fight us. Once Amelia was safe on the ground, I stood up again, picking up my blade and drew my dagger with my left hand. I doubted I'd need spells for these people, if darts were all they could muster, unless time was of the essence. "Those aren't going to work on me. I'm one third rock-golem -- your darts won't get through my skin."

A group of younger locals, carrying blowguns, came out from the undergrowth surrounding the trail ahead. Mostly shirtless, though farmers' tans suggested that this was probably not their normal state during the day. Another Fire Spirit priest was with them, someone who was young enough that his face was still covered in acne, and his vestments showed signs of having been made before his last growth spurt.

The group stared at me and the unconscious Amelia. I couldn't tell if it was at our silly outfits, or the fact they had managed to knock one of us out. I glanced back to Amelia, who was starting to snore. Man, this was _embarrassing_.

I cleared my throat, trying to keep the upper hand, and assumed a ready stance. I gave them a grin. "Well? Shall we continue?"

The head of the blowgun-carriers looked to Priest Junior. "Is that the thing the Hero of the Sea was supposed to control?" Great, I was demoted from 'barbarian' to 'thing'. Wonderful. Maybe by the end of the day I could get to 'monster' and just stop caring.

"Yeah. Go get him!" Priest Junior pointed at me.

"Um, Brother, we left our spears at the compound. Let's go get them, right, boys?" The gang of locals took off sprinting away from me.

Well, all right, that was a nice fringe benefit. I'm good at being intimidating, but a reputation helps. Priest Junior turned to yell at his missing goon squad, but they were quickly getting out of sight in the forest. He sighed and turned back to me. "Is it true that you're a berserker only held under control by the Hero's magic?" He glanced at Amelia, who was still sleeping peacefully. I wondered if he was questioning any Hero who passed out after one dart, or was just wondering what happened to a spell when the caster fell asleep.

I paused. This could be my chance to take care of things myself. Amelia would be disappointed, but she'd get over it. "That's right. I'm feeling my control slip right now." I grinned at him, and Priest Junior stepped back, bringing up his hands -- either for a spell or to shield his head as he ran away. "It's a good thing for me that you're such a weak spell caster. You could never pull it off yourself. It would practically take a minor god to do it." Let's hope he would get the hint.

"Then I'll go get the high priestess! Or the Spirit of Fire Mountain herself! That'll show ya!" Priest Junior was shaking.

"By the time you get back, I'll be gone into the forests," I pointed out. Now to plant the second half. "And you can't make me go with you. Only Ame- the Hero of the Sea can do that."

Priest Junior paused, glancing at Amelia. "She's asleep."

No kidding, moron, considering one of your guys was the one to knock her out. "Guess you're out of luck. You'll just have to wait until the spell wears off and I come and find you. She can't give you any orders, so I'll probably just have to stay with her to protect her until the spell wears off. Last orders, you see."

Priest Junior was thinking. He looked like he was about to strain something from the effort. "So, if I bring the Hero to the Spirit, you'll have to follow us?"

I sighed. "We are enemies, you know. I can't tell you that."

"Come on, then." Priest Junior picked up Amelia like a sack of potatoes. I worried something was going to come loose on that stupid costume of hers, and quickly covered my scowl.

It wasn't a long walk, thank goodness, or I might have had to invent some bullshit about residual magic. And I was intimidating enough that Priest Junior kept his hands to himself, which meant that I didn't have to remove them either from Amelia or his arms.

The compound that the Priests of the Fire Spirit had as their headquarters was made in a clearing of hacked-away jungle. To its back, I saw the jungle clear and the trail rise up to the mountain summit. The compound was surrounded by a fence of cut palm tree logs, with two more locals standing at the gate. These ones actually looked like they might be able to use their spears, and the woman wore the red robes that the priests were sporting.

"Clear the way! I have a prisoner! No, two prisoners!" Priest Junior there was making a lot of noise considering he didn't actually _do_ anything to get his two prisoners. I tried to ignore him and get as much of a look around as I could. The guards were barring the way inside, so I could only kind of see some tents and thatched huts inside. There was construction noise, and the air smelled of sap and sawdust, so I thought that the whole compound must be new. "I need to get the barbarian to the Spirit before the spell snaps and he kills us all!"

"What's the password?" the priestess said.

"Oh, come on. You know me, Sue. I owe you money for last night's card game."

"Hey, High Priestess's orders."

"Fine. The password is 'swordfish'." I groaned when he said that. The password is _always_ 'swordfish'. "Take me to the Spirit!"

"She also said no one was to see the Spirit except her." Sue folded her arms and the other guard pointed his spear menacingly.

"Fine. But I meant what I said about the 'killing us all' thing. Everyone in town was talking about it." Priest Junior glanced at me nervously, and I gave him another grin.

"Maybe you should have taken his sword away from him, then." Priestess Sue sighed.

"My hands were full with the other prisoner."

"I'll bet."

"Where is the high priestess anyway?"

"She went down to deal with Porthaven. She'll be back by nightfall."

"We can't wait until nightfall!" Junior glanced back at me again. I didn't think I looked all that threatening, but he seemed to increase his urgent pleading to beak the rules.

"Nice town you got here," I said. "Nice of you to show me where it was, too. Hate to go on a rampage, but you know how it is."

"Fine," Priestess Sue said. "Just fine. If the Spirit burns you both to a crisp, don't come crying to me. Take the prisoner to the empty hut, and I'll deliver this one to the Spirit."

I was worried this would mean a climb up the mountain, but instead Priestess Sue and the other guard lead me to the central building, which was actually stone and the only thing in the compound that looked older than two weeks. She left the guard outside with me, and went inside, presumably to speak to the Spirit of Fire Mountain. "Okay," she said once she came back outside. "Go in."

I walked inside, and blinked several times, trying to clear the afterimages of bright sunlight from my vision. Someone -- the guard, I think -- shoved me in the right direction, and I went through a curtain into a room.

"Zel, what the hell are you doing here, and where the hell are your pants!?"

"Lina?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A confrontation between church, state, Amelia, Zelgadis and the Spirit of Fire Mountain.

There was a table, with a pretty impressive spread of food. It was a testament to Lina's surprise that she had stopped eating lunch just to stare at me. Gourry, seated at the side, continued eating until Lina smacked him. He looked up, a chicken leg still in his hand. "Oh. Hi, Zelgadis," he said. As if it hadn't been months since we had seen one another, and I wasn't in a silly outfit, and they weren't posing as gods. Typical Gourry.

"Get him a pair of pants, Jellyfish. Or a blanket or something," Lina said. Gee, thanks, Lina. Your concern about my appearance is noted.

"You're not exactly in your normal attire yourself," I pointed out. Someone had given Lina a dress, and enough gold and garnets to probably buy the entire village. She actually looked like a Volcano Goddess, even without casting some kind of awful fire spell. Gourry had traded his armor for a garish short-sleeved shirt and shorts, and someone had given him a shark-tooth necklace, but otherwise, he looked normal.

"Shove it, Zel," Lina said, picking up a bowl of fruit. Gourry stood up and handed me a piece of cloth that looked more like a scarf than anything useful, and was in a pinkish red that meant it was probably Lina's. Sighing, I wrapped it around my waist. Still silly looking, but it might cut back on Lina's comments. "So, what brings you here?" Lina asked, before taking a large bite of a piece of pineapple.

I took the chance to grab a stool. "I might ask the same of you two. The locals are calling you the Spirit of Fire Mountain."

"Yeah, well, Gourry and I decided to check out the island, since we'd never been here. There was some trouble with pirates, but I took care of it. Maybe I went a bit overboard, but next thing I know some woman is proclaiming me as the guardian deity of the volcano. I figure I'd put up with it for a bit, since they roast a damn good ham here, then figure some way to make a good exit. Maybe in a couple of days."

"Plus it was That Time of the Month," Gourry added.

Lina swatted him. "Zel doesn't need to know that part of the story."

"Then you haven't left the mountain?" I asked. I was beginning to see what kind of racket the high priestess had going on here.

"Nope," Lina said. "I'm missing the beach and all, but I can do that later."

I sighed. "Because your high priestess is busy exacting tribute in your name, and burning down villages when she doesn't get what she wants. We were sent up here by the queen to do something about that."

Lina paused in her eating for the second time in fifteen minutes. "What?" She looked about ready to blow her top, and this time Gourry caught on, and took a step back... with the ham bone he had been eating. "How dare she use the good name of Lina Inverse like that!"

There are many comments one could make about that, not the least being that it was being done for the Spirit of Fire Mountain, not Lina Inverse. Thankfully, I'm too smart and Gourry had gone back to eating lunch. Crossing Lina when she's in this mode is legally considered suicide in three kingdoms. I would hate to be the high priestess. Amelia on a Justice kick would be more merciful than a pissed-off Lina.

There was an explosion. Not one created by Lina, who hadn't quite gotten to the 'fireball-throwing' stage of her rant. I paused, saying the first thing that came to mind. "Amelia must have woken up." And they hadn't taken any precautions keep her from blowing a hole in whatever had held her.

"Amelia?" Lina said. "Dammit, am I going to have to deal with her and her 'Miss Lina, are you being unjust again' too? I didn't _do_ anything. This time."

"I think she'll take 'the high priestess tricked you' as an excuse," I said. "I'll talk to her."

"You do that, Zel. Right now, I have some clerical ass to kick." Lina vaulted over the table, miraculously without disturbing the remains of lunch, and ran out the door. I exchanged a look with Gourry and followed.

It wasn't hard to find out where Amelia had been held. It had a giant magic-created hole in it, and Amelia on the roof shouting about the corrupt reign of the Volcano Goddess.

"Amelia!" I shouted, waving at her.

Amelia looked over. Thankfully, she didn't fall. "Mister Zelgadis! You're safe! The guards said you were going berserk or under the control of the Spirit or something." She put her hands on her hips. "You aren't, are you?"

I sighed. "Do I look like I'm going berserk? And the Spirit of Fire Mountain is just a tourist the high priestess found as a figurehead. She didn't know a thing about anything."

"Hey!"

Amelia looked past me. "Miss Lina? Wait, _you're_ the Volcano Goddess?"

"That's what the locals said," Lina replied. "But I haven't set anything on fire."

Amelia gave her a skeptical look. Gourry raised a finger, and said, "what about-?"

Lina cut him off by holding up a hand. "Fine. I haven't set anything on fire since the first day I got here, unless you count candles and bonfires. Which I don't."

"Like I was saying -- it was all a set-up by the high priestess," I cut in. "Lina's been here the whole time, and didn't order anyone to ransack villages."

"And I'm going to give the high priestess a piece of my mind for it," Lina said. "If all they wanted to do was to feed me and throw parties, that's one thing, but I am not a cause for holy war!"

"You said it, Miss Lina!" Well, that was one crisis averted. I didn't really care what happened to this high priestess, but Amelia versus Lina would be messy.

"What is the meaning of this?" A priestess was heading towards us. Judging from the ornate feathered cloak and enough gold on her so that she'd sink if you tossed her into the ocean, she had to be the high priestess. The fact everyone else was hurrying away even more than they had been from Lina made it certain. Guess she was back early from Porthaven. "How dare you trespass here!" She pointed at Amelia.

"I come in the name of Justice and Heroism, and the people of Safe Haven Island, to end your tyranny in the name of a False Spirit!" Amelia wasn't going to let anyone steal her moment.

"Hey!" Lina said, stepping in between the high priestess and Amelia. "Before that, you and I are going to have a little talk about what _you_ do in _my_ name. Amelia can have what's left when I'm through with you."

"Miss Lina, you're ruining my speech!"

I took several steps out of the way. Gourry looked at me. "They don't really need us, do they?"

I nodded. "We'd only get in the way." Lina and Amelia were going to argue about who had precedence over the high priestess, and all Gourry and I could do was keep her from getting away, leaving two very pissed off sorceresses. Thankfully, the high priestess was just as involved in the fight as Lina and Amelia.

"Open the gates in the name of Safe Haven Island!" There was the thunder of another spell -- maybe a Damu Brass. I recognized the voice as Queen Oihana, which was funny, since I distinctly recall her telling us that we needed to go alone. Unless she had better transportation than walking up the mountain, she had to have set out with her group shortly after Amelia and I did.

Damn it, if we were being the decoy, she could have at least told us.

"Oh, stuff it, Sis!" the high priestess yelled. "You know the laws. I'm the Speaker for the Spirit of the Mountain, so you can just take your tin soldiers and go home."

Oh, boy. Sisters. This was turning into a family dispute, or nepotism gone horribly wrong.

"You are not my Speaker!" Lina yelled. "Come over here so I can Fireball you in the face."

Lina had meant that for the high priestess, but Queen Oihana took it as her invitation to advance through the smoking hole of the front gate, her royal guards flanking. "Well, then, Lorea, since you _aren't_ acting in the name of the Spirit," she gave her sister a devilish grin, "let us talk about the supplies you stole from _my_ villages."

"If you're willing to talk about the number of _my_ priests you drafted into your service," the high priestess countered.

"Oh, shut up!" Lina stepped in between them, a murderous glint in her eyes. "I don't care who of you took whose toys as kids, because that's what this is going to turn into. You two and your stupid fight ruined my vacation." I might add, Lina was perfectly happy sitting at the top of the island while they were giving her stuff and making her food, so the 'ruining' was probably the 'fighting a religious war over her'. "And there'll be justice served all right."

"Miss Lina, that's not exactly what it means to fight for Justice," Amelia pointed out.

Both the queen and the priestess turned to Lina. "You and what army?" Queen Oihana asked. Both the priests and the queen's guards were forming up behind them, and I suddenly realized that maybe it was better to let the sisters threaten each other, rather than pick on one. Family can be funny like that.

No, that doesn't apply to me at all.

"Just me, Lina Inverse. And these other guys." She motioned to Amelia, who was trying to keep track of the new development; Gourry, who was looking between Queen Oihana and the high priestess as if to confirm that they were sisters; and yours truly. "You might have heard of me as a Beautiful Sorcery Genius."

The high priestess and the Queen looked at one another. "Doesn't ring a bell."

"What about Dragon-Spooker?" Gourry asked. If you hear it enough, even Gourry remembers Lina's bad reputation.

"Enemy of All Who Live?" Amelia suggested.

"Some friends you two are!" Lina yelled at them, and Gourry and Amelia backed up, probably looking for a place to hide.

"How about 'The One Who is Going to Dragon Slave the Volcano Soon'?" I said. Which was both true and would hopefully distract the islanders, which would then distract Lina. And with any luck, wouldn't actually happen, since I don't know what black magic and an active volcano do when mixed, and I pray that I never find out.

Lina looked ready to object to that nickname, but then she got an evil look on her face, and turned to Queen Oihana and the high priestess, grinning. She didn't say a thing, but I don't think she needed to.

The queen looked at the high priestess. The high priestess nodded. "Since we are very interested in promoting tourism-," the queen said slowly.

"-except when it involves crazy foreign sorceresses-" the high priestess muttered.

"-we would be happy to extend to you the hospitality of the island. For the remainder of your stay." The way she said the last bit made me wonder if Lina would ever be let back on the island once she left.

"Excellent."

* * *

"Now this is a vacation!" Lina stretched out on her beach towel. "Sun, an ocean breeze, and drinks with umbrellas in them." She didn't mention the giant picnic lunch that had taken all four of us to carry. It probably wouldn't be there for long, anyway.

"The ham was better," Gourry said, reaching for the loaf of bread and cutting himself two thick slices. I noted that lack of ham didn't stop him from making a sandwich that was going to be the size of his head.

"It was also trouble, Gourry. Pass the mustard."

Amelia had finished making her own lunch, and took it away from the impending feeding frenzy to sit by me under a palm tree. She had changed out of that crazy costume, and back into her sundress. She'd also found a set of shorts and a short-sleeved shirt for me. Not that I really wanted them now -- there were worse things than being hot.

"Poor Mister Zelgadis," she said. "Is the aloe helping your sunburn?"

"It'll be fine if I stay in the shade."

"I told you you should have put some sunblock on," Amelia said. "You normally keep your skin covered up, so it's not used to it."

I nodded. She had. And I hadn't bothered, and now I was a rather interesting shade of purple that really should more be associated with bruises than burns. "Who knew that the sun could burn my skin?" Well, I did now, and had put the sunblock and the aloe on, cast a healing spell to dull the pain, and was staying in the shade, thank you very much. "It'll heal soon."

Amelia nodded, sitting down next to me and starting to nibble at her lunch. "You're not going to enjoy the beach if you stay here. Um, Mister Zelgadis?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I tracked down some of my mother's relatives and I was wondering since you weren't going to be doing much today, if you'd come with me to meet them?" It might have been the heat, but she was starting to turn red.

I sighed. "Amelia, your father hired me as your bodyguard. Of course that means I'm coming with you."

"Thank you!" Amelia smiled at me and I had to wonder if she was suddenly nervous and wanted backup in case something happened.

We let Lina and Gourry know where we were going. And then I penned a short note, because hell if I know if they heard us through making sure every speck of lunch was eaten. It also wasn't a far walk from the beach, which was good because I was not in the mood to get another half-day's worth of sun, and my burns were starting to chafe against my shorts.

We approached a sprawling farmhouse, surrounded by various outbuildings. I couldn't tell what the fields were growing, but they were full of green plants. Amelia walked to the door, but hung back, staring at it. "If you're not going to knock, I will," I told her.

"Don't rush me." But she reached out and knocked on the door.

A woman answered. Despite the wrinkles on her face and the fact only a few strands of violet remained in her white hair, she was still standing tall and looked like she could easily keep up with the younger workers on the farm. She also had a pair of brilliant blue eyes that matched Amelia's. "Yes?"

Amelia suddenly looked down at her feet. "Um, hello, ma'am. My name is Amelia and my mother was Terese Jaso, and I think she used to live here."

The older woman stared at us. "Look up, child." Amelia did so. "There is a lot of my daughter in your face. I'm Maria Jaso; Terese was my daughter."

"So, you're my grandmother, then?" Amelia looked uncertain. I knew if it was anyone on her dad's side of the family, there would be hugs and loud greetings, but I don't think she was quite sure what to make of a woman who was her maternal grandmother and a stranger to her.

Maria nodded. "Will you be staying long? The rest of the family will be around by suppertime, and you can meet them."

Amelia nodded, smiling. "I'd like that, Grandmother."

Maria looked past her, towards me. "And who is this?"

"Zelgadis Greywords," I said. "I'm her body-."

"My _friend_," Amelia interrupted.

Maria didn't comment on the correction. "Well, your friend is welcome to stay as well. Won't you come inside for some lemonade?"

So we did, and ended up staying for supper.


End file.
